He existed is a state ofperpetual fear that some new shame or indignity was about to beunleashed on him.Unlike Jane, Emma was prepared to occasionally tolerate his begging formore lenient treatment when she took Daphne strolling out and about. Sheloved to see him beg, often with tears in his eyes, to be let offwearing some ridiculous outfit or other. "Pweathe Nanny, don't make mewear my Maryjaneth today?" Or " No Nanny, pweathe? Not that pinkcardigan today? People stare at me tho! Pwetty pweathe, Nanny?"Nanny rarely relented - but did so on the odd occasion, so that he wasencouraged to plead and beg all the more like a desperate toddler. Oftenhis incessant nagging wore down her patience and resulted in anadditional humiliating punishment - which Emma delighted inadministering, or some Hobson's choice between two humiliations. Oncewhen he had moaned about her putting him in his black patent Maryjanesfor a trip to the supermarket, she had let him choose between wearingthem - or his. I was so tired that I forgot to clear the mess or even pull my shorts up.I woke up the next day and was surprised to see my shorts back on and the laptop had vanished from the bed. The bedsheet had also disappeared from the bed. It was a Saturday and no wonder mom didn’t wake me up because I had no classes on Saturday. It was a holiday for both of us.It was a bit awkward for me at the breakfast table, trying to make eye contact with my mom. She continued to eat as if nothing had happened. It was as if she forgot about the night. She asked me if I had anything to say to her. I stayed silent.Then she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I replied to her saying that I was unlucky with women.Time passed and it became evening. My urge to masturbate was building up. I searched for the laptop and found that mom was using it.I retreated to my room and searched for the lingerie Ad cutouts I had kept under the mattress. To my relief, she hadn’t found out the collection of beauties in lingerie.I was.
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